Help Your New Kindergartner Feel Secure
Use these strategies to ease the transition for both of you.
All things being equal (and, of course they rarely are), it will be easier for a new kindergartner to feel safe away from home if this is not her first experience in a group program. But the challenge of adapting to kindergarten is influenced by so many other things:
- the nature and philosophy of the particular program
- what’s happening at home
- your own trust or mistrust of school
- your optimism or pessimism about the separation process
- your child's temperament
Some young children jump right in, acting as if they had been there all of their lives. But those easy adjusters tend to be the exception. So expect some tentativeness and ambivalence, along with genuine excitement about starting “real school.” It is a little easier, perhaps, if some of the songs, activities, and scheduled parts of the day (such as circle or group time, snack, rest, free play, etc.) are familiar. But it still takes time for a somewhat shy or wary child, or one who is deeply attached to home and family, to feel safe in a new program. He’s facing a new building, with new teachers and many (if not all) unfamiliar children. Try these steps to ease the strain of this big moment:
1. Choose your child’s kindergarten program carefully, if you are fortunate enough to have options. A good program should adapt to each child’s needs and provide most of the opportunities mentioned below.
2. Work closely with the teacher before the first school day. Help her understand your child’s interests and strengths, as well as areas in which he may need extra help. Find out what the kindergarten day is usually like. In the spring before entry, you and your child should be invited to visit and see for yourselves. Then you can point out to your 5 year old where the bathroom is, where the cubbies are, what toys there are, the door to the playground, and the door through which parents may enter at the end of the day. You may be invited to join the group for snack or another welcoming activity.
3. Be casually optimistic about what lies ahead. Don’t overstate the weightiness of this happening. Occasionally, in passing, talk (positively) about some fun activities your child can expect to do in kindergarten; sing songs or play games she might encounter there. Some of these may be new, others comfortably familiar. But don’t focus a large part of your time together talking about kindergarten.
A Model Program
A recent study by the National Institute on Early Childhood Development and Education in Washington, DC, and the National Center for Early Development and Learning Kindergarten Transition Project at the University of Virginia-Charlottesville, bears out the importance of such opportunities. It describes more features of programs that ease the transition into kindergarten.
This remarkable program in Virginia focuses on creating a network of social connections to support children and families. Building bridges between children and teachers, children and peers, parents and teachers, and preschool teachers and kindergarten teachers creates a positive experience for newcomers to kindergarten.
The program promotes continuity from preschool to kindergarten through the involvement of family, school staff, peers, and a unique interaction between each child’s preschool teacher and future kindergarten teacher. A collaborative team of teachers (at both levels), family, principals, and staff works on the kindergarten transition plan for every entering child. A staff member coordinates the entire program without losing sight of individual differences. He begins by fostering the school-family collaboration in preschool.
Central to the plan’s success is the fact that it is tailored to each child’s and family’s individual needs. Other promising features include:
- Contacts between preschoolers and current kindergartners, who help to acquaint the future kindergartners with the program
- Special events at the “big school” for preschoolers, such as summer playground nights for incoming children and their families, following the spring tours of the school
- Visits to the preschool students from kindergarten support staff
- Home visits by teachers to their incoming class members.
- Careful planning of kindergarten placement, placing a priority on keeping children who know each other well together in the new classroom.
This is all part of the collaborative effort between preschools and kindergartens. Preschool teachers stay in touch with their graduates. And by the time they start kindergarten, children know their new teachers' and other staff members’ faces and names.
The cooperative efforts don’t end once school begins. Many parents who have already met each other and their children’s new teachers continue to attend meetings about transition issues. They receive newsletters focusing on putting children at ease. Parents have already heard about differences and similarities between preschool and kindergarten, so they know what to expect. Each parent receives a welcoming letter and an open house is scheduled for very early in the year.
What I have been describing is clearly a model program. You will be hard-pressed to find all of its components available in your neighborhood, but don’t be discouraged. Armed now with a sense of the ideal way to make a comfortable transition to kindergarten, you can look for a program that best approaches this model — in ways that are particularly important to you and your child. You can also introduce some of its elements on your own, such as visiting the school playground during the summer or inviting your child’s preschool teacher to communicate with his kindergarten teacher.
Adele M. Brodkin, Ph.D., is a former school psychologist who now works as a child development consultant and an author.
Adele M. Brodkin, Ph.D., is a psychologist, consultant, and author of many books, including Fresh Approaches to Working With Problematic Behavior and Raising Happy and Successful Kids: A Guide for Parents. In addition, she has written and produced award-winning educational videos.
