Journey to Preschool, Part 3: So Much to Learn
Follow Alaina and her family as she starts preschool for the first time.
Read along as Brooklyn, NY mom Rachel Chou recounts her experiences as her daughter, Alaina, starts preschool. Child development expert Adele M. Brodkin, Ph.D., adds her observations and comments.
Smooth Separation
Learning to Share
Growing Mind and Body
Smooth Separation
It's been three months since that first day of school when we left our daughter, Alaina, in the hands of two veteran teachers, Pam and Fran, at her preschool. Alaina is the youngest in her class, and at the time we were unsure how she would react to the new situation, how her social skills would differ from the other children, and how far behind she might be in her skills development. What we've learned is just how amazingly adaptive 2 year olds are, and how quickly our daughter is growing into a nurturing little girl who can finally get her own two feet off the ground.
Dr. Brodkin: This is the exception, not the rule. Children who struggle with separation, even at age three, four, or five, are just as likely to become independent, well-functioning older children and adults as kids who don't have trouble separating.
We suspected that Alaina would go through the separation from us with little difficulty. She's always transitioned well, she loves socializing, and she seems genuinely comfortable in unfamiliar settings. Nonetheless, we weren't sure how she would feel being around other children crying for their mommies and daddies as they themselves adjusted to pre-school. Alaina has always been an empathetic child, unusually aware of what people around her are feeling. When her baby brother, Beili, cries, she rushes to his side and belts out a rousing rendition of the ABC's. When he loses his pacifier, she finds it for him, holds it in his mouth and coos, "It's okay, Beili; don't cry." Happily, she seems less upset than concerned when her classmates melt down. According to Pam and Fran, Alaina tries to help unhappy classmates by bringing them books or playing with them. I've noticed that when I pick Alaina up from school she often talks about the children who have had a rough day by saying something like: "He was going 'whaah, whaah' and I asked him 'what's the matter?'"
Learning to Share
Being a nurturer is a wonderful trait, but my husband and I have been a bit worried about Alaina being pushed around by her classmates. On our visits, we have seen more aggressive children take toys away from her. We have wondered about how to encourage her to stand up for herself. In fact, as we have learned, two year olds differ widely when it comes to their grasp of the concept of sharing.
At our recent parent/teacher conference, we spoke to her teachers about this concern, and they assured us that Alaina was doing fine. They described Alaina would find another toy to give to the child who was trying to take the one she had. She's a pro at the old bait-and-switch! We smiled because we had been working with her on that concept at home with the baby. Alaina's favorite toy is generally the one that her baby brother is currently holding. We tell her that it's okay to "share" (i.e. take) Beili's toys, but that she should find something else to give to him in exchange. We hadn't thought that she would transfer that action to the classroom and her interactions with classmates; but apparently that is exactly what she has done.
Growing Mind and Body
Alaina's improving grasp of the concept of sharing has coincided with her desire to play more interactively with other children. She is no longer satisfied playing in parallel with friends; she gets frustrated if her playmates don't respond and interact with her when she is playing. Alaina has developed a very active imaginary world when she plays. She loves to play house: putting her stuffed animals to sleep, pretending that she is going to work or cooking. At a recent playdate with her classmate, Caroline, Alaina discovered Caroline's play telephone, which connects through a wire allowing two people on either end to have a real conversation. She thought this was fabulous. She not only enjoyed talking to Caroline and her sister, Emma, but repeatedly went back to the phone to call her daddy, her babysitter, and imaginary friends. The idea of using a toy that worked just like the real deal was utterly fascinating to her.
While Alaina's sense of imagination and social skills have begun to blossom, so too has her physical ability. For the first few months of preschool, Alaina's least favorite activity was gym. Alaina has a hard time with running, and her idea of jumping for the past several months has been to throw her hands in the air and dramatically pick one foot up off the ground.
Her weekly gymnastics class and daily gym sessions at preschool have definitely helped her to develop greater confidence in her physical abilities. We have noticed that she is increasingly willing to experiment with new physical moves. She likes to put on her tutu at home and pretend she is doing "nastics" (as she calls it).
Of course, along with her increased interest in physical play come certain pitfalls that all parents are familiar with. Last week, I received a call from the school's director. I felt my stomach lurch when she said: "Alaina had an accident, but she's OK." Alaina had tripped and fallen into a jungle gym bar while running into the gym. She had a big bruise under her swollen eye, but was back in the classroom playing. When I went to pick her up, I was relieved to find her singing and playing happily. I chuckled at the thought of Alaina running to get to the monkey bars. Sometimes, progress is revealed in strange ways. I am sure this will not be the last time we receive such a call, but I guess it's all part of growing up — for both Alaina and me.
Next: Steps Forward and Back
