Know Who's Who at Middle School
You've met the leads — your child's subject teachers. Here's what you need to know about the supporting players and specialists.
The school–home connection is vital to a child's academic and social success. But while we hear a good deal about how to build a strong, trusting relationship with teachers, what about all the other professionals at school? Do you even know who they are — and what resources they can provide to you and your child?
Good middle schools offer a roster of pros — from guidance and drug abuse counselors to psychologists and learning specialists — who can help with problems inside as well as outside of school, though some may only be part-time since they must serve several schools within one district.
"If your child is having trouble making friends or still hasn't mastered keyboarding by 7th grade; if there's tension at home or you suspect an eating disorder, it's your job to get to know these specialists," says Susan Schwartz, clinical director of the Institute for Learning and Academic Achievement at New York University's Child Study Center. "You can't be an effective advocate for your child if you don't know who to contact."
Of course, that's not easy when you have a middle schooler who prefers to operate under the radar of teachers and parents. "Kids this age are prickly when it comes to admitting that they have a problem," says Schwartz. "Cognitively, socially, and emotionally, they want to be the same as their friends — in the middle. Acknowledging that they're having difficulty is especially hard."
Which is why parents need to think of school specialists as allies, not adversaries. To do that, you need to work the system, says Laurence Steinberg, Ph.D., professor of psychology at Temple University in Philadelphia and author of The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting. In his research, Dr. Steinberg, a specialist in preteen and adolescent issues, found that when parents of unsuccessful students discover that a child is doing poorly in school, they often try to handle the problem themselves by strictly monitoring homework or establishing stringent study rules. When this fails, as it typically does, parents feel frustrated and get angry with their child. Homework, and school in general, become hot-button issues, upping the probability of failure.
On the other hand, parents of successful students mobilize the school on behalf of their child. To do that:
Introduce yourself. At the beginning of the year, make a point of meeting your child's homeroom teacher or academic advisor. Ask if she prefers to be contacted via email or phone. If so, what time is best? Don't insist on a chat at the beginning or end of the day — the two worst times for most teachers.
Follow the rules. Every school has its own hierarchy and procedures, so be sensitive to the chain of command. Contact your child's advisor first. She's there to handle day-to-day concerns such as scheduling, conflicts with teachers or other children, as well as ongoing learning issues. "If she can't resolve a problem, she should direct you to someone who can," says Schwartz.
Make it short and sweet. When you are specific and ask for guidance — calmly and respectfully — you invite openness instead of hostility. You might say, "Jason's been having trouble with reading comprehension. Can we speak on the phone for a few minutes, at your convenience, about what to do? Perhaps you can suggest things we can work on at home, or introduce us to the reading specialist."
Make regular appearances. School officials are more likely to pay attention to your concerns — and your child — if they know you're the kind of parent who is involved in her child's education.
Don't be intimidated. Your child may be the center of your life, but specialists and administrators at school have many other kids to worry about. If you've left a message, wait a week before you call again. If you consistently run into roadblocks, leave another pleasant, but concerned (and definitely non-threatening) message that you plan to call the next person up the chain of command. Then do it.
Be upfront with your child. A middle-schooler, already anxious about having you too involved in school, may feel betrayed if a friend tells him she saw your mother talking to the principal when he had no clue about the meeting. You can say to your child, "I'm noticing that you're having trouble with algebra. We could work on it together, but I bet it would be more helpful to consult someone at school. They really know the inside scoop. I'd rather just be your mom."
Speak to other parents. By all means network with other parents, be they classroom volunteers or fellow PTA members. Hearing that other children are having the same problems, or how someone in the past resolved a similar issue, can put your child's dilemma into perspective and spark ideas of what to do next.
Who's Who
- Guidance counselors may be social workers, psychologists, or simply experienced teachers who have moved out of the classroom to focus on coordinating school-wide personal, social, and academic programs. Ideally, they have been certified or licensed with training in school counseling. They can give you information about curricula, discuss which teachers and teaching style are best for your child, or direct you to outside specialists. Toward the end of middle school, they can suggest appropriate high school courses as well devise college or career plans. If your child is having peer problems, if there is a divorce, death or serious illness in the family, the guidance counselor can be the sounding board your child needs (or direct you to someone else who can be).
- Learning specialists (sometimes called resource room teachers) usually have advanced degrees and certifications. They may assess students, meet with kids to provide remedial instruction one-on-one, or work with classroom teachers to provide group support (either in the classroom or with a small number of students in the resource room). Reading specialists (or reading coaches) may also team-teach or provide mini-lessons for the whole class to boost research and library skills, paragraph development, and so on.
By law, schools must provide help to students with physical or learning disabilities, as well as some form of support for those learning English as a second language. Assessments are free, so find out what services are available from the school and how eligibility is determined. Under Title I of the Federal Elementary and Secondary Education Act, schools in impoverished areas can apply for funds to provide extra help to children who are struggling. If you haven't been told about them, ask now. - Speech and language pathologists work with children who trip over words, or have trouble paying attention because faulty wiring in their brains prevents them from taking in, processing, or speaking the words or sounds they hear. These specialists work with kids individually or in small groups to develop social skills and enhance conversation, phonetic awareness, and vocabulary.
- Occupational therapists help kids who need to improve fine motor skills, such as handwriting or using the computer.
