Infants & Toddlers/Activities: Activities That Tune Into Babies' Personality Traits

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Infants

Be sure to provide caresses, smiles, and loving greetings to an easy baby. They need your personalized attention just as much as the irritable baby. Be sure to "check in" with the easy baby frequently, even when you are busy trying to soothe or redirect a difficult baby.

Go slow. The slow-to-warm-up baby needs a lot of patience. This baby may have a low activity level and initially may withdraw from, or act scared of, new situations. Remember that this baby needs more time to adjust and adapt to changes.

If necessary, use a kangaroo pouch to hold a young baby who is very slow to adapt to school on your body. Your rocking motion as you walk, along with your gentle voice tones, can soothe this baby into calmness and help him adapt to the new situation more easily. The irritable baby may need you to carry him around on your arm, draped on your shoulder, or across your tummy.

Massage with non-allergenic oils helps the tense baby to relax. Massage his limbs and tummy as a daily, leisurely experience.

Toddlers

"The fit" between you and the child is the key to helping toddlers with varying temperament traits. The intense toddler requires calm, loving handling. Lower your voice tones and speak more slowly when you need to redirect this child to a more appropriate activity.

Provide lots of individual snuggle time for the intense toddler. Leaning against you as you share a familiar, well-loved picture book helps this toddler focus. Do advance planning to prevent outbursts or intense distress. Check in frequently. Rub his back and soothe him with long palm strokes.

Arrange opportunities for the high-activity toddler, such as bouncing back and forth energetically on a rocking horse or chasing after a large ball. The toddler who runs rather than walks needs lots of chances to use large muscles. Do not expect him to sit on a mat for a lengthy period.

Speak calmly when the irritable child is reacting with intense frustration. Agree that the toy she is so angry at is really hard to work and she may want to try it another time. Redirect the toddler to an activity in which you know she will have more success and enjoyment.

Be sure to allow more time to help the cautious toddler who may react negatively to a new situation. Kneel clown and talk softly about how the other children are enjoying an activity. Nod reassuringly and positively as you gently talk about the scene you watch together. When the toddler seems more relaxed, take his hand and walk with him over to the activity. Stay with him for a while as he settles into play. Step back as you see that he is getting absorbed in the play.

Try not to stress the cautious child by over-enthusiastically "talking up" a high-energy game in which other toddlers are running around. The cautious toddler may withdraw even more. Choose comfortable activities and move the child in gently. Stay until he is reassured and comfortable. Take the pressure off!

Encourage the inquisitiveness of the easy toddler. Provide new activities. Be creative in suggesting the use of materials together that the cautious child might find somewhat fear-inducing or bewildering.

Alice Sterling Honig, PhD, a professor emerita of child development at Syracuse University, is the author of many books on infants and toddlers, including Behavior Guidance for Infants and Toddlers and, with H. Brophy, Talking With Your Baby: Family as the First School

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