When Kids Coast Through School
Does your middle schooler enjoy learning — or seem bored, disengaged, in a rut? Here's how to relight the spark.
Maybe it's the fact that your middle schooler seems to ace all his tests without studying. Or maybe it's that when you ask him about his classes, he shrugs and says they're boring. Whatever it is, something is telling you that your child is simply going through the motions at school — a phenomenon also known as coasting.
Coasting isn't just about how much work your child has or how easily it comes to him, says Shelly Haser, Ph.D., chair of the department of education at Marymount University in Arlington, VA. "Parents often think their child must be challenged if they're getting a lot of homework or if the work is hard," she says. "Yes, children should be challenged and it's not always good to get straight As with little effort — but what it really comes down to is whether a child is engaged or bored, whether he is inspired to learn more about a topic on his own. Kids at this age are not only absorbing content, but should start to love learning for its own sake."
In elementary school, children tend to be naturally curious and eager to learn. But pre-teens face so many other pressures — social, emotional, and physical — that learning can take a back seat if it doesn't excite them enough.
Is She Coasting? How to Tell
She gets As with little to no effort. Since building self-esteem is especially important for middle-school students, succeeding easily in one area of school can be a good thing. But breezing through almost every subject can do her a disservice. Look at your child's assignments and tests. Are they mostly rote worksheets, or is she being asked to make more interesting connections, such as applying math problems to a real-life situations?
Writing assignments are particularly telling. "Does it seem as if reasonable demands are being made?" asks J. Martin Rochester, Ph.D., author of Class Warfare: Besieged Schools, Bewildered Parents, Betrayed Kids and the Attack on Excellence. "Are the papers marked up with red ink? Is she earning the A? Can you see that the writing is at the level of a younger child, but is still getting an A?" Essays should be more than formulaic book reports, for example, and should delve into character development, dialogue, things that allow the child to make connections with what she's reading.
Being the biggest fish in the pond has its advantages, but it can also lead to a rude awakening in high school, when academic demands are likely to increase significantly.
His grades have gone down. School work shouldn't be grueling either. If your child is struggling to keep up, this can lead to frustration, underachievement, and, ultimately, boredom, because he just gives up and begins to dislike learning.
Her energy seems directed elsewhere. When academics aren't engaging or fulfilling, kids often seek excitement or approval in other ways by acting out, say, as the class clown, or by succumbing to peer pressure to try drinking or drugs, notes Haser. If your child seems to be heading in this direction, try to find out what's at the bottom of it.
What You Can Do
Get the teacher's perspective. Set up a meeting with your child's teacher to find out his take on the situation. Note that your child doesn't seem engaged or excited about his work; approach it as a joint problem: What can we do about this?
A good teacher, says Haser, will be able to provide ways for your child to connect with what he's being taught — not by simply upping the quantity of work, but by providing outside exercises or projects that will stimulate genuine interest in a topic.
Most schools offer enrichment in the form of after-school clubs, lunch clubs, or pull-out programs during the day. Another option for high-achieving kids is for them to take higher-level classes in subjects like math or foreign languages. Sometimes school districts (especially in rural areas with limited opportunities) will allow kids to enroll in an online class instead of taking one offered at school.
Talk to your child directly. Ask her what her current interests are. What does she want to learn more about? You can supplement the curriculum and broaden her horizons by taking her to museums and performances, starting a book club, or encouraging volunteer work.
The middle-school years are critical, says Judy Molland, a teacher and author of Straight Talk About Schools Today: Understand the System and Help Your Child Succeed. "It's a delicate balance. Kids are grappling with so many new things. Teachers and parents need to help kids find their place and to help them discover what it means to be a student and to value lifelong learning."
