5 to 6: Be My Pal
How to ease your little one’s jitters about making new friends at school.
Many 5- and 6-year-olds going off to kindergarten worry about making friends and getting along with all of the new kids they’ll meet. If your child expresses concern about this, recognize the sensitivity of the issue and talk about what’s bothering her. You’ll be able to better reassure her if you take the time to address her in a sincere and thoughtful way. You may want to remind her that she has been through this before when starting preschool or an art class. This face time is worth its weight in gold because it lets your child know that you’re listening and you understand her worry. Sometimes that’s all she needs.
A Strong Start
When school begins, kids are sometimes anxious about other issues, too, like eating lunch, going to the bathroom, and taking a nap. Take the time to answer questions calmly and seriously. Friendship in the classroom can provide your child with a support system away from home, especially since the students are all in the same situation.
Studies have shown that making friends is also an essential part of how 5- and 6-year-olds develop and learn—it’s in their nature. If your child is comfortable with friends, he will begin to see his pals at school as both an educational and emotional resource. Once school has started, your child will learn quickly that having fun with other children is a useful emotional release of the stress of school pressures. Programs that provide kids with time for interactive play are very successful at producing kids who are excited about learning.
If your child is shy, don’t worry. Most kids are, at first. A good rule of thumb is to respect your child’s “watch and wait” period in the first month. Often a kindergarten child will suddenly come home from school in the second month talking excitedly about a new buddy! Some children, however, need more time and support.
Ellen Booth Church is a former professor of early childhood, a current educational consultant, keynote speaker, and author.
