Tween: Where Do We Stand?
Reconnecting with favorite classmates after the summer break is not always easy for tweens.
Tweens’ friendships are complex and demanding. From around age 9, kids begin to understand qualities such as loyalty and trust; they therefore expect their friends to keep secrets and be reliable and supportive, as well as to be kind and fun.
Be prepared for some turbulence when your tween starts back at school. If he had some close classmates before the break, he could be wary of recommitting to that same level of intimacy immediately. In the social jousting for power and position, tweens can also be mean. You may find that your child is moody or irritable as he tests out his previous friendships. To help him, try to:
•Provide plenty of relaxing downtime, and stick to bedtimes. Readjusting to school life will be easier for your tween if you insist on sensible bedtimes to help him recover from the stresses and strains of the day. Also, try to tolerate a temporary dip in his grades for the first month as he gets back into the swing of things.
•Be understanding. Show you have an idea what she might be going through by saying something general, such as: “It must be such a stress trying to figure out if your friends have changed while you’ve been apart. It’ll take some time.”
•Oil the wheels of friendship. Be open to requests for playdates after school or on the weekend. Invite your child to have a friend tag along when heading to the park or to run errands.
•Offer plenty of one-on-one time and attention. He’ll feel more confident about his role with others if he knows you like to be with him.
