5 to 6: Coping in School
November may be a tricky month for your kindergartner. Many 5- or 6-year-olds start to experience kindergarten stress at this time. Your child may have started the year off with relative ease, but then the different challenges of going to “big school” started to add up. The kindergarten honeymoon is over, and now the day-to-day routine can feel heavy.
Aside from being stressed by academics, kindergartners sometimes have trouble with the pace of the school day and the many transitions included. Children who’ve been mostly at home are accustomed to doing things at their own pace. In school, they’re expected to keep up and stay with the group, which may be moving at a faster pace. Other stressors might include interactions within a large group of children, riding the bus, finding the way through a large building, and remembering the rules.
Some children will seem to regress in behavior and demeanor at this time. It’s normal for children to deal with stress by adopting more “baby-like” behaviors for a while. Your child may cling to you at the door, whine, or even use baby talk. This phase will likely not last long. Your child simply needs reassurance. Instead of telling him to act like a big boy, try telling him that, no matter how big he gets, he’ll always be your baby—and that being a big boy is very exciting!
Other stress indicators to watch for include: thumb sucking, nervous or jerky movements, anger or frustration, stomachaches, hair twirling, mysterious pains, depression, or even nervous laughter. If any of these appear out of the blue and seem school-related, talking with the teacher may be a good idea.
Not all children experience stress in kindergarten, but it’s helpful to keep a keen eye out for warning signs, to acknowledge the potential stressors, and to be aware of techniques and activities that can help your child feel calmer and more comfortable.
Ellen Booth Church is a former professor of early childhood, a current educational consultant, keynote speaker, and author.
