The Importance of Toys
More than just playthings, toys serve as a way for a little one to exert independence
The new awareness of self opens some fascinating new dimensions of the toddler mind. The discovery of "me" versus "not-me" leads to such tantalizing concepts as "mine" versus "not-mine" as well as the individuality of other people. So we start dealing with such issues as possession and sharing. We also get to a new level of awareness about who and what other people are, especially other children.
Toys and other objects are important extensions of a young child. They can be played with and learned from, and they can be used to achieve other goals — a pail and shovel are a big help in building a sand castle. But possession or ownership has more than practical applications. It becomes another means by which a child exerts independence and autonomy.
This carries over into play with other children. For children who are not in a child care setting on a regular basis, territorial disputes are more the rule than the exception in playgroups of kids this age. That is why it usually works better to have a mix of ages rather than a group of age clones.
Learning to Share
Children at the younger end of this era do not know how to take turns or share, so do yourself a favor and don't expect much. However, you can help them ease into the delights of group play by supplying several copies of the favored toy, and staying close at hand to "catch them being good," and guiding them when they are not. Redirection and/or distraction work better than a barrage of no's.
Children in group child care are a bit ahead of the curve on playing with other children for two reasons. First, they are accustomed to being around other children a lot, so group play is the norm, not the exception. Second, they have likely had a lot of guidance from caregivers in the basics of play with their peers. Experience counts.
![]() | From Me, Myself and I: How Children Build Their Sense of Self — 18 to 36 Months by Kyle D. Pruett, M.D. Available wherever books are sold. Copyright © 1999 by Goddard Press, Inc. |







