Share Your Thoughts: Motivation and Cooperation

We asked you how you motivate your child to do things he doesn't want to do. Here are some of your creative ideas and solutions.

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We give our children limited choices so they feel like they are choosing, which they are, but they are choosing from a list of things that are acceptable to us. I say, "You need to eat some vegetables — do you want carrots or broccoli?"
Anne R., Minneapolis, MN
Mariana, age 4, and Caroline, age 1

I established a routine when my 8-year-old daughter was 3. She picks up toys and neatens her room before dinner. She doesn't fight me on it because it's just a part of how we live our lives.
Dalila C., Sugarloaf, NY
Karina, 8, and Veronica, 2

I lead by example and make a big production of it by having a great time. My daughter usually wants to participate if she thinks it's a party — even if it's a party where everyone picks up toys!
Julia B., Philadelphia, PA
Ciana, 3

My son is much more receptive to my requests when I give him a heads-up that things are about to change. I'll say, "It will be time to clean up in two minutes." It's not that he knows how to keep track of time, but it's a warning that we'll be changing activities. We'll also talk about what's going to happen. For example, if we have to go to the dreaded grocery store, I ask Jack what CD he wants to listen to in the car, which fruit he wants to buy when we're there, or who he thinks he might see at the store.
Jennifer L., Madison, WI
Jack, 2

I will incorporate a request of hers into something I need done. For example, if she asks for a fruit snack around the time that she needs to clean up her breakfast dishes and feed the cats, I'll say something like, "As soon as you've finished doing what I've asked you to do, then I can get the fruit snack you want."
Tami N., Salt Lake City, UT
Natalie, 3, and Danielle, 1

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